The Mulonic Calendar

In all honesty, I've become more attentive of this new calendar that I have devised and the psychological effects it has occurred, but I'm still not ready to give up on it. On paper, thinking that it is always the day before seems great and that it truly is something that helps. This could be my Mother Theresa Moment.

To understand the Mulonic Calendar first we must accept that today is Tuesday. A quick glance at a conventional calendar will inform you that today is Wednesday, but that advice is not to be headed. So, the goal for today is to convince myself that today is Tuesday. The overall benefit of this being that when Friday rolls around and my brain is now deadlocked that it's Thursday it's as though I get a bonus day off.

This new methodology of naming the days came as a brief epiphany. I woke up at five thirty in the morning and thought it was time to get up and face the cruel, cruel morning. This realization only lead to the greatest feeling in the world as I realized that I didn't need to be up for nearly two hours and that the sweet bliss of sleep could once again be mine.

So, thought I, if this reaction could be captured accidentally why couldn't the process be artificially duplicated via the days of the week?

Thus the process was implemented. Monday, at first, became a bit of a chore as I missed some work convincing myself that it was Sunday. With a quick application of a more simplistic version of Sullivan logic (a system originally developed by Andrew Sullivan) I convinced myself that Sunday was Monday and then another bonus day off!

And yet, after several weeks of living the Mulonic calendar I began to fall into the blackest state of depression. The reason, dear children, came through hellish introspection and that my state of anger and rage was from having to endure, really, two Mondays. Feeling that nagging feeling like it should be Wednesday and I was one step closer to Friday only to realize it was really only Tuesday.

Most of your finer philosophers would tell you the "Live for Today" motto at this point. But not me. I'm going to ride this thing into the ground. Live for yesterday and all the pain that comes with it.

Ergo, a joyous Tuesday to you and yours.