the good doctor

... shiftily looks around...

heh heh... i have infiltrated.

have i defiled? hmm, nah. although, some might argue otherwise.

regardless... i am woman. i am voluntarily blogging for the BMC. i must be either rediculously stupid, horrifically smart or bound and gagged and forced by the heathens to type witticisms with only my toes.

_______

today i was told to enter the kitchen, barefoot and naked and make some meat for the BMC men. i laughed (rather heartily) and humored the request (you'll see why in a moment. i know they never read this thing - except for maybe the part about being naked - which is why their posts are so self-gratifying, therefore enabling me to expose my grand plot to the masses sans interruption).

i entered the BMC kitchen and gasped with a mixture of asphixiation and repulsion (oof, and i thought ellen the intern might have at least changed the sponge once in a while). i promptly went home. i have clean formica countertops. i have a new green sponge. i also have the power of Grill, which the BMC kitchen surprisingly lacks. i also decided to concoct an irresistible treat for the boys back at headquarters: the Juicy Lucy.

for those not privvy, the Juicy Lucy is a stuffed hamburger. the best ones are stuffed with just cheese, but occasionally you enter a fancy minnesotan restaurant and get yourself an herb and cheese stuffed hunk of meat, charred slightly and oozing with melty goodness... i digress... the best ones are made with cheese. they are impossible to refuse if you like meat (and regardless of ninny-isms and nay-sayers, the boys at BMC are meat-eaters).

and so i went about my "duty", mixing and stuffing, patting and sizzling, all the while chuckling to myself with the Evil Laugh. for inside those little meaty pockets were gobs of blue cheese, coated in a mixture of dihydrogen monoxoide. say it with me now: bwahahahahahahaaaaa!!! with each spit of fat hitting the grate, my plan of domination comes to fruition... with each hiss of the meat, i am closer to the goal...

Juicy Lucys are best served on lightly toasted kaiser rolls with pickles, ketchup, mustard and a few leafy greens. i hope you enjoy, boys!