Sweet Pagany Goodness

So...Still not a holiday. For this being the holiday season there sure seems to be a lack of holidays huh? I mean we're not trolling the depths of the abyss that is Memorial Day through the 4th of July but I haven't had a good holiday in weeks now. And today brings me nothing at all. Well, unless I was a pagan. If I was, well then I'd rock out with my dead animal horns out buddy!
Today's the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year (I hope this applies to how work will feel today). The solstice. A day for honoring the sun and, if feeling paganish, to worship it. I don't think the whole sun worshipping thing worked out here in minnesota thanks to the fact that we don't see the damn sun for 6 months of the year (and yes, I'm fully aware of the irony of complaining about a God you don't see). I picture some Egyptians around 400 b.c. traveling to north america and ending up sunning themselves by Lake Minnetonka on a beautiful August day. They would meet the native americans and after telling each other how sweet the other group's beads were the Egyptians would try to explain Ra the Sun God and all of the native minnesotans would look at them and then finally, after a long silence the chief would say. "tell you what, you just wait here a little while". September would come and go and the Egyptians would keep on pushing the good book of Ra. They would make noodles out of the grains and eat meals together. And then October would come and the Egyptians would start sporting beaver pelts and matching hats and they'd still keep on cooking up those noodles and pitching Ra. Then november and more beaver pelts and less pitching of the idea of Ra due to the cold. Then December and so on. Around February the followers of Ra would throw their hands up in disgust, agree with the natives that they were never there, and head back home. Well, they'd have to wait thru March until everything thawed out, they didn't want to get their pelts all slushy in the melting snow. The Egyptians were finally tired of this cold land and missed their womenfolk so they headed back and no one in history would have known they were there except for one minor detail. The natives would remember the salty noodles that the Egyptians had made and pass them on to their descendents. They needed a simple, cheap food that their children could eat while they went off to the woods for 4 years to learn about life and become knowledgeable hunters. The natives had called the followers of Ra the Ra-men, and that's how we got salty noodles with no nutritional value. They had come to pass along their religion and they were remembered only for their oddly tasty but completely unhealthy food. And that's one to grow on.
So let's take this day and celebrate the fallen pagan holidays, even if they don't really apply to who we are or what we believe. Heck, other than the solstices we have 361 days to celebrate Christianity totally working over the Pagans in every fashion. They can have their one day in the sun.