Movie Debate or Workday Timekiller?

Here's a running commentary that Mule and I managed to string together whilst also completing the necessary tasks our employer requires of us. It made for an interesting day.

Mule: Sin City… your number one pick, it would seem somebody has issued unresolved from the decade of Reagan

Harmon: That's one way to look at it yeah. You could argue that the stoic insanity of Reagan affected my movie-going tastes as a tot. You'd be wrong, but you could look at it that way. If you'll recall in my comments (I somehow found the time to comment on all the movies I saw) I did note that I didn't expect it to be my favorite of the year either. And while the movie is incredibly violent and equally grisly I would argue that the movie is so over the top in everything - violence/sexuality/language - that it would have been a disservice to the story to not go over the top with the violence. The reason why it was number 1 was because it was boldly original AND executed perfectly.

Other movies, like Walk the Line, were executed perfectly but not that original. We've all seen biopics by this point and they all, more or less, follow a similar structure. While Walk the Line pees on the shoes of Ray it's still in a story structure that we all understand immediately. I rewarded Sin City for stretching the norms a bit and trying to be something new. My only regret with my top 10 is that your favorite, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, should have been #4 on my list. It was definitely more original than 40 Year Old Virgin and deserved merit for it.

I really liked KKBB (obviously) but I don't think it was the best movie of the year. I wonder if you give it more credit because you discovered it and made all your friend's see it, thereby taking some quasi-ownership of the movie because everyone was indebted to you for making them see it. I thought it looked like a solid rental until Mule and his pom poms (one with Kiss Kiss and the other with Bang Bang written on it) came bouncing out. I'm still haunted by the cheerleader outfit by the way.

Mule: Wow, why don't you cry about it. Jerk.

Harmon: I've shed my last tear over that. So...Kung Fu Hustle....seriously. Top 10? I know you saw 12 non adult-themed movies this year but #8? I didn't even see it. The guy's first attempt at a film over here, Shaolin Soccer, was one of the worst uses of 90 minutes in my life. And I can waste time with the best of 'em. Why not just put Pokemon 3 in your top 10 and let everyone know that you have no taste. It's essentially the same thing.

Mule: Unfortunatly for you, but fortunate for those of us that understand humor, the movie was very good. Very original and gave good nods to such actors that would be unbeknowst to you as Buster Keaton, Bugs Bunny and Kung Fu flicks. But of course these weren't summer blockbusters from last year, so I can see how you'd overlook them.

Harmon: Actually I'm a big fan of Buster Keaton, but why watch something derivative when you can watch the real thing? I also like Bugs and I watched so many kung fu flicks as a kid that I got all the way down the list to American Ninja 4 before I realized I was watching them out of habit and had run out of all the good stuff from overseas. Let's face it though, if some MTV video director from Ohio had made this movie you'd be complaining about all the stupid, unnecessary action and lame camera work. But because it's from a foreign land it immediately has the air of authenticity when it doesn't deserve it. You probably think people in Australia all say "g'day mate" and drink Fosters just because that's how they're marketed here in the states. Open your eyes. See. Think for yourself. You don't have to buy the hype. And for someone who thinks I just love summer blockbusters you may want to look at my top 10. There isn't one in there. I like movies. And I only care about whether they do what they say they're going to do. Armaggedon didn't suck because it was a summer blockbuster, it sucked because it was a stupid story directed by a guy who seems like he parties a bit too much with Bruckheimer. Help me out with the Wedding Crashers thing. I liked it and I laughed, but not nearly enough. The theatre I was in was packed but there were very few laughs, hardly any of the kind that make you slap your buddy and give that "this is awesome" look to.

Mule: When you're wrong your wrong and you… you're always wrong. And because you didn't see the movie you don't understand, close minded individual that you are. I enjoyed the Wedding Crashers and didn't see 40 year old virgin, though I did hear it was excellent. Wedding Crashers was funny cos, well, we've all been there before, drunk at some party you didn't know anybody at and yet… I don't know I found it to be more of a documentary than a comedy. And Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was the best movie of the year, regardless of the fact that I was pleasantly surprised by it. It was an original, dark comedy. Dark comedys that are well done, should deserve to be the best picture of the year, every year.

Harmon: Dark comedies are very difficult to pull off and usually great if done right, but I don't know if that's enough. I like that I'm considered close minded because I have seen other films by Stephen Chow and not liked them but you're not close minded for saying all blockbusters suck. Most of them do suck, but, speaking to someone who is all fired up about X3, I think it's a little ridiculous. Most movies in general are bad or they don't appeal to a certain audience or there is another reason why they're not worth seeing. I only saw 25 movies this year. Only twice a month did I think it was worth it to trek out to the theatre to see something. That's not much.

Mule: Well, duh… American cinema is pretty much dead, which is another point I've proven and you've now made for me. Making me the smartest man ever. The only reason why people even watch your precious little Oscars is because they want to cheer for a movie. And the only movies that get considered are your precious little blockbusters.

Harmon: And I thought I didn't do any research. For the first time in history the movies nominated for Golden Globes were not big successes at the box office. None of them were. American Cinema is alive and still dominating just as it has for just about forever. And here's why, we put out more movies than any other country. When you have that kind of quantity plenty of them will be bad. It's a completely different atmosphere. But I'm going to give you a little insight into the Hollywood process because it's obvious you have no idea how it works. You rail away on all these evil Hollywood blockbusters all the time but you ought to love them. They're the reason your little indie-esque movies get made. You think Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is being made if the studio hasn't already made $100 million on one of their evil blockbusters? It doesn't happen if all the studios focus on are small, artistic movies with limited appeal. Sure the small movies tend to be better aesthetically but that doesn't stop people from lining up for Spiderman 2 does it? No, and it shouldn't. With the money the studios make off the big blockbusters they can afford to take a risk on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Heck, Shane Black, the writer/director of KKBB made his money off of the Lethal Weapon movies and The Last Boyscout and Long Kiss Goodnight. So, other than the fact that he really likes the letter L what does that tell us? Would he have made this movie if he didn't have the prior success with his evil blockbusters? No. It's all part of a chain, William H Macy takes a small role in an action movie, makes $5 million and turns that around and buys a screenplay he likes and co-produces it and voila we have a nice little movie out of it. Everybody wins. Stop bitching about the blockbusters and start realizing they're all part of the cycle.

Mule: I'm going to be honest, I didn't read the last rebuttal, I'm sure it was insightful. What movies were nominated for the Golden Globes; so that I might be offended.

Harmon: I have no idea. I was counting on you not knowing anything about them, I didn't think you'd call me on it. I waste hours surfing the net at work but I've never been so bored that I would need to check out the Golden Globes nominees. I think it's time we hang this up. We've managed to bore ourselves.

Mule: Well, I'm still going strong and fortunately the logical conclusion has been reached. My picks are correct, and you are fucking moron.

Harmon: ...and yet I can string together a full sentence without missing any words. Curious. Well my boss is letting me go home early so nuts to you.