EXPECTATIONS – THE BANE OF EXISTENCE?
The other night a weird little grouping of people got together quite unexpectedly. There was The Little Lady, who just wanted to do her homework in peace and quiet. The Old Guy, who was and is an excellent mechanic and had no expectations to speak of at all. Tommy B, a good friend who just wanted to kill me repeatedly via a passive aggressive little theatre of the mind we call “Halo”. He also wanted pizza and several cans and/or bottles of light beer. He’s kind of whiny and he doesn’t kill me nearly so well when he has to drink a dark beer. I’d ask him to explain but again, he’s whiny, so he just ends up telling me he’s not whiny and that dark beer sucks and frankly I think we can all agree there’s a reason we play video games and call each other “bitch” instead of sitting down to chat over a nice Cabernet. Finally there was me. I just wanted to get through the night in one piece. You see it was my poor planning that led to all these people coming to my house on the same night to do things that didn’t involve the others. I triple-booked myself. I’m very popular. I’m proud to say we pulled it together. The Little Lady made some killer chili, the menfolk drank light beer and discussed several topics that we didn’t necessarily know anything about. Truth be told The Old Guy knew a lot but we had no idea what he was talking about so it basically boils down to him not knowing anything either right? I’m just trying to spread the blame here people. Okay fine, The Old Guy knows what he’s talking about. I have no inclination as to the best way or time or tools needed to dry corn and since it is the autumnal season and we’re in a state that still grows a lot of corn we discuss these things whether they have anything to do with our lives or not. I suppose that’s beside the point. The point being, of course, that we had a good time despite none of us getting what we expected. We all went to bed that night slightly disappointed in an evening that had good conversation, a good meal and the appropriate amount of adult beverages for all involved. So why didn’t we have a GREAT time instead of just a good one. Look at the title of the thing I’m doing here for help. I’ll even start a new paragraph now to make it easier to find after you scrolled to the top.
Expectations are an absolute bastard. Just think of how your day would be different if you had no expectations at all for what was about to come? Maybe my job wouldn’t suck if I went into work not expecting it to suck. Maybe it would still suck but because I didn’t know that ahead of time I would be constantly amazed at how much it sucked and therefore in a state of constant wonderment and that would at least make the day go by faster right? It might take me until 10:15 to realize my boss is a total douche. I’d have to reevaluate my belief system after learning such astounding news. What? The management group isn’t smart enough to get through orientation at a Mcdonalds? Who would have guessed it? I’d look up and it would be 11:30 before I realized what had happened. This isn’t really the best explanation of what I’m going for but c’mon, you’re the smart kids, you’ll figure it out.
The failure to meet the expectations set upon you, your team, your business is what sadness and depression are made of. We here in Minnesota got to watch our favorite teams go through a yearlong love affair with a little lady called Failed Expectations. She flirted with the Timberwolves, had a makeout party with the Twins and the Vikings were just seen snorting coke off her naked back on a boat party. She’s a foul mistress that one. And let’s face it, the bitch gets around.
This works in the business world as well with stocks and IPO’s and all the other stuff they do. I’d go into it but basically everything I know about these things I learned from two or three scenes from the movie “The Game” with Michael Douglas and Sean Penn from the late 90s. Michael Douglas ran a large company and had to fire his father’s old friend who had been with him through thick and thin. I believe the dialogue went something like this:
Old Friend: “But our sales were up 7% in the last quarter.”
Michael Douglas: “But we told our stockholders to expect 10%. And this time expectations were everything.” And yeah, I know it’s kind of cheating to quote a movie where the guy says EXACTLY what I’m trying to illustrate here but what the hell, I know next to nothing about the business side of expectations and I needed to stretch this paragraph out a little bit to justify mentioning it in the sentence a couple paragraphs up.
Most people base their day to day happiness on whether or not they’re doing what they expected to do when they were a junior in high school. Just let that sink in for a sec. The truth takes longer to digest. Okay? Let’s proceed then shall we? People create their lifelong beliefs as a teenager and then run with it for 20 years before stopping to ask themselves if maybe 38 year old Bob isn’t quite the post up player 18 year old Bob was back in the day. Then the whole midlife crisis thing hits. Bob goes into a cocoon of shame and doubt and a year later Bob’s a beautiful butterfly with a fully loaded Passat with a moon roof and a 6 cd changer full of Franz Ferdinand and Coldplay so the kids think he’s “edgy”. Not that I’m anywhere near the midlife crisis thing yet. But I am still solidly in the “I’m a writer” mode that I started back in high school. For what’s it worth I still think I’m a writer even though I don’t write much. Which, if I remember what I’ve read, is the one thing a writer should do. I’m with you people on this thing so don’t fight it. I know it’s difficult to change and to give up those ridiculous expectations from our gold-staying-pony boy childhoods but it’s time we let it go. What happens if we just stop expecting things and start doing stuff without worrying about the consequences? I have no idea, I haven’t done it yet. But I’m thinking about giving it a try. I mean, if this writing thing doesn’t pan out that is...
