Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Cat or Dogs ?

I was at a barbecue over this long weekend and the thing that took me by surprise was the overwhelming questions that came my way .

Some where about daily things simple nuances like my favorite Wine , to are Gin and Tonics really the perfect summer drink ?

I was saying the main question that kept coming up was of the guys lets just call him Tony .

Was perplexed as to why he is not scoring with the ladies as much as he would like to I sat down and listened to his plight Tony is a 22 years old.

The thing is Tony is at that stage where he wants to slam bam make me a sandwich and invite your girlfriends over kind of guy .

Tony is still under the delusion that a guy can talk a women into having sex .

I had to pass on a tip that a wise man told me, which once tested has proven to be the most important piece of information a man can have in his arsenal of understanding things when it comes to the game of sex , not love but sex yet they are intertwined yet different ..

Anyway After stressing to Tony the importance of using protection and even more, that if a women does grant him the privilege of sexual intimacy to be a gentle and generous lover .

I broke it down for him, lets say he's dealing with women that are 25 and older a persons sexual personality can be broken down into
3 categories .

When you strike up a conversation with a women ask this deal breaking question :

" So do you have any pets " or "So are you a Dog or Cat Person "

What !!! you may say !

Am I sentencing this young man to a lifetime of Marinanating his own meat ?

We all understand the difference between the two animals there personality, and what they each bring and that's the key to understanding the female owner

Cats:
We all know that cats are prissy to say the least affectionate they can be but a lets face it a Cat doesn't need our undivided attention they come and get petted, when they please they come and bug you for there food or when there litter is dirty . They want to sit on your lap when there ready and to heck with what you were doing .then after all that they leave .
To go and clean themselves or do what ever it is that they do .

This is a tricky situation women who have cats are much like there pet .

They don't really need you, and they make that known what some people call bitchy in there appearance is really a Prissiness that they give off like cats .

So what does that mean for a guy trying to get on, if a women says she has a cat .

Dating her will be a Challenge .

How is that because if you can deal with the prissiness and if she considers you to be worthy the first step , she will decide to make time for you, but her alone time is everything to her because like a her pet she doesn't need you, but she will call you when she feels like it, at odd times in the day for you to come out and entertain her and when she's done then she has to return to her PLACE most of the time alone .

Side note:: you may say what about people who own Birds or Lizard I say shut up and stop asking about pets that no body really cares about .

Dogs :
I would never imply that Dogs are for people who need to be assured easily .
Because that is the overall assumption or wise tail ect .

I consider dogs to be more like a small hyper yet loving child ( now before you get your Depends in bunge let me try to elaborate)
We all know that dogs, unlike cats seek to please . we all know that unlike cats dogs take up more of your time they require walking play time ,ect .that alone is a big part of understanding a women who is a dog lover if you are mature enough you can deal with this women's Child be warned the dog has to be on the dates so if you are smart set all dates for place that dogs cannot go !!

Other wise you've turned into this surrogate dog owner and that can be a pain especially if you hate dogs .

But back to the Women the nurturing side of her reigns supreme especially after she has passed the preteen stage because women are generally smarter then men ( don't pout guys it's true )

They can ration out there time better and mature enough to know that they want to hang out with a guy what does that mean for dating ?

More laid back but there time is occupied basically the bigger the dog the more time is required to deal with that pet so you will have to wait for the her to be open ( we are talking about women so nothing is ever easy )


And three She doesn't own a pet !

This is the most complex and frustrating category because she doesn't have time for either pet , her free time is more open but that doesn't mean she will hang out with you more let alone sleep with you any faster .

And remember she has girlfriends who either have cats to dogs as pets which can means the plot only thickens.
( again we are talking about women so nothing is easy )

You will notice at no time have I mentioned which type of women is easier to get into bed because any smart man knows that from the time she says it's o.k. to call her she has already decided when she will do YOU and in what fashion it will take place .

The key is for you not to say something stupid .

But by understanding these characteristics the key to not saying something that will land you in Jack off town is imperative .

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is quite possibly the best advice I've ever read: [men have a] delusion that a guy can talk a women into having sex.

Bravo Balddee2. Bravo!

balddee2 said...

I live to serve the public mi amigo .
I live to serve the public .

Anonymous said...

Why is it that you can't talk your way into sex, but you sure can talk your way out of it?