DVDefect

DVDefect.

The Birth of a New Era?

I am now the proud owner of a computer, the first I have ever purchased. Sure I’ve had hand-me-downs and most of my work day consists of activities involving a computer, but this is the first unit I have ever purchased. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone to know that I can’t type a paper on my computer, or compile a spreadsheet. I know how to type a paper (sort of) and I can collate data in any program you can name. The reason I can’t on my computer is for the simple reason that I have no programs not specifically related to movies.
It is however top of the line. Dual core processor, two DVD+-rw drives, X800 xl video card, soundblaster platinum and 1.5 terabits of hard drives. I don’t have any idea what that means, but I am assured it is all brought together for the sole purpose of allowing me to catalog and view a fair amount of my collection. I do not offer this to say “Look at me, I buy fancy things”, it is just to provide you with a piece of mind. A confidence that I will not steer you wrong, my own personal warranty, as if to say, I do love movies… maybe too much.


Like any good reviewer I will use a rating system. From 1-8 one being the letter (C) two being (Co) and so on and so forth until seven (Coolest). The eighth is reserved for few movies, but will be refereed to as (100% Awesome).

Example:
“That movie Kurt Russell was in was”
Rating: (100% Awesome)

New on DVD.
That one new release that should be in everyone’s collection this week is.

Ok technically I didn’t buy any DVD’s this week… well three, but they weren’t new releases. I was occupied with the purchase of the aforementioned computer. Next week though I shall return once again to offer you my opinion on the latest and greatest feature length video has to offer.

Other must haves.
Movies I have watched or re-watched in the last week and must have in my collection.

Serenity (2005)
Rating: (Coolest) For classic Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) dialog, for keeping the cast of it’s television name sake (Firefly), and for an altogether “Cinemagic” experience.

Synopsis. Basically it is a wonderful feature length episode of the Sci-Fi channels not-so-hit show Firefly. Based in a future where the universe becomes humanities new “Old West”. This rag tag crew of ruffians (and hot chicks) has to fight for survival, truth, and their right to party.

Comments. It will re-ignite your hatred towards the Sci-Fi Channel for canceling a one of a kind TV watching experience.

The Punisher (2004)
Rating: (Coole) for being one of Hollywood’s better adaptations of a classic comic. Thomas Jane was convincing, but a bit on the pretty side, compared to his comic name sake. The comic relief provided by his misfit neighbors was too contrived. As always John Travolta should have moved to the Mud Creek Nursing Home after making Pulp Fiction. However it was fun, and worth a watching.

Synopsis. Frank Castle’s (Thomas Jane) wife and child are brutally murdered. The rest is just one mans way of saying, “I ain’t just gonna kill ya, I’m gonna to end everything you know”.

Comments. Well to reiterate, it was enjoyable with a good showing by Thomas Jane and Will Patton. It could have been darker, but then again, that wouldn’t pack the theaters, it would have however awarded them a better rating than (Coole). Something for the Hollywood brass to think about next time they remake this classic tale.


Avoid at all costs
Many of you have written asking to know what would earn the rating of (Coo) or less. This category is devoted to you.

Brothers Grimm (2005)
Rating: (C) for wasting my time, and for making me think they weren’t going to waste my time.

Synopsis. Pure and utter tripe, a dribble of cinema that ensnared the guttural urge to disembowel oneself. Begging for scripting, and longing for motivation Matt Damon (The Bourne Supremacy, Ocean’s Twelve) and Heath Ledger (The Patriot, A Knight’s Tale) are brothers who tool the country side looking for ways to piss me off.

Comments. I would step in front of a moving train for Terry Gilliam (Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 12 Monkeys) but now I have been brought to the horrible realization that I would step in front of a moving train rather than watch the Brothers Grimm again.