DVDefect

The death of your collection?

In the age of mp3 players and online books why haven’t the record companies and publishing houses seen a significant drop in sales? Sales in all types of “hardware media” (books, CDs, DVDs) have continued to fluctuate within the norms of our economy, even with the rise of digital media ¹. Why? Hell, I don’t know but if the average American is anything like me (and they are not), we like collections. We buy books that we have already borrowed and read because they’d look great on the coffee table or shelf and we may just get around to reading them again. We buy CDs for the same reason, saying you have over 1,000 CDs goes quite a long way in certain circles. I personally own about 20 CDs and as a result will never be taken seriously in any conversation about anything pertaining to music. Then there is the rare individual that purchases the book or CD to support the artist. Good for you “Keep em’ off welfare” is what I always say. No offense intended, unless of course you are an artist that is relying on my tax dollars to get you by until you make it. In which case, screw you sideways! What about my dream?! What about my natural ability in something that no one cares about?! When you get famous are you gonna pay us back instead of moving to France to avoid paying taxes?! I digress.
This same logic I can naively translate to TV shows and Movies. With the invention of TIVO, and SATA hard drives selling for thirty cents a gig why don’t we just record every movie on cable, or Net Flix them and record them on the aforementioned hard drive. The same can be said for television shows. Set your TIVO to record every episode of every TV show in the off chance that you’ll get around to watching it? I’m attempting to do just that, however I still see the value of having seasons 1-5 of the West Wing on the shelf. “West Wing?” “But you made a crack about welfare?” No I didn’t, just free loaders, and yes I am pretending to have a conversation with you.
It seems that half of the DVD section in most stores is filled with TV shows, old and new. From the A-Team to Alias you can purchase pretty much any TV show you want including the much anticipated release of The Fall Guy starring Lee Majors. Having said that, why would you spend upwards of $50 a season buying them? With TIVO or Windows Media you can set to record almost any show you want, and if you have enough cable channels it won’t take you long to get entire seasons. With Movie Channels and a proper decrypter, you can even record certain movies before they are out on DVD.
Bottom line. We’re collectors and visual learners, sure you can scroll through your list of movies to determine which one you want to watch, but it just seems more enjoyable to pan across a wall of DVDs whether it be in your local video store, or in your basement right next to your framed picture of Sylvester Stallone in First Blood. Buy your DVDs, Purchase that CD, hell, even buy a book if you’re still in the dark ages of the written word. Push that collection as far as it’ll go, cause long after that hard drive crashes you can sell your collectable DVDs on the futures equivalent to E-bay, probably Remoworld. But if you are going to start or expand your collection, allow me to make a few suggestions.
Like any good reviewer I will use a rating system. From 1-8 one being the letter (C) two being (Co) and so on and so forth until seven (Coolest). The eighth is reserved for few movies, but will be refereed to as (100% Awesome).

Example:
“That movie Kurt Russell was in was”
Rating: (100% Awesome)

New on DVD.
That one new release that should be in everyone’s collection this week is.

The Wedding Crashers (2005) Widescreen .
Rating: (Coole) for Vince Vaughn, unnecessary toplessness, plus the dialog during the breakfast scene.

Synopsis. If you haven’t heard the plot yet and can’t extrapolate if from the title, I’m amazed that you’re able to use a computer, and you should stop reading this, now, we are not friends.

Comments. Sure it’s a little main stream, and what could be considered the obvious pick, but this isn’t my opinion, this is plain and simple fact, which is what I refer to my opinion as.

Other must haves.
Movies I have watched or re-watched in the last week and must have in my collection.

Old Boy (2004)
Rating: (Cooles) For realistic fight sequences where one man is virtually indestructible, plus a squid and a ending that will make you want to burn yourself and take 4 showers in a row.

Synopsis. Korean flick, about a man who has to pay for a sin he couldn’t have known was so unforgivable. Imprisoned for 15 years without knowing why Oh Dae-Su has five days to exact his revenge.

Comments. One of those rare treats, a real soon-to-be classic.

Battle Royale (2002)
Rating: (Cooles) Akin to Red Dawn, this movie ensnares the imagination with thoughts of “I wonder how good I would do”. For being poorly dubbed, for pot lids and answering your cell phone no matter what. “Arigatou!”

Synopsis. A random 9th grade class gets chosen to be stranded on a deserted island where the only way off is to kill everybody within three days.

Comments. If you didn’t think about doing this in 9th grade it’s because you where the jackass who made everybody else’s lives miserable… Shame on you. You should know, I’ve been drinking milk, and I’m not afraid of you anymore.


References: (1) Gilmore Girls.