Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Make Out, Bonesaw and Little B

Thanks for your comments and concerns. Except for Little B who is no doubt a jerk and should rot in hell for all eternity. Your comments have made us all stupider.

Make Out- Yes, it was a gross miscalculation on my part to forget that Milwaukee is, indeed in possession of a second franchise. Our intern, Ellen, who joined Mulemerica in hopes of getting in on the ground floor of my grandiose ideals of world domination, did some poor research on this and she shall be punished like the naughty, naughty, naughty girl that she is. On a side note, if anybody knows how to get a woman to stop reading books about Eva Braun and they could forward this information to me, it would make me feel more comfortable. I keep thinking her casual interest in turning the BMC office into a bunker and pretending the Russians are coming is becoming a little too Springtime for Hitler-esque. Boom! Kick turn, boom kick turn.

But to the point of comparing Green Bay (And, for the record, it's not that I have anything against Green Bay, the good city or the professional football team that resides there. It's more of the stupid sport that has no cultural value and is only watched by morons that can't comprehend what real sports are and probably kill puppies and only watch action movies.) and New York. When I wrote it I didn't feel that strong about the actual content of the paragraph, but I really liked the point. As Intern Ellen pointed out it didn't really fit in with the rest of the column, but by then the Wild Turkey had set in and I figured the two people that read the website on a regular basis wouldn't call me on it soooo.... Yeah, you win.

But everybody that reads this could be a winner if they check out your website from the Robot Chicken DVD release at the Playboy Mansion. Was that a shameless plug? It felt like a shameless plug? Did I just sell out?

Little B. - Freddie Garcia sure looked good yesterday. Just think what a wonderful world it would be if we could all work every fifth day. Then, when we show up decide to only work for a little over half the day and then really, really, suck at our job. And on top of it, to be paid millions.

But your rather eloquent comments have made me bend my mind towards more important matters. Mostly how can the Bitch Sox afford to lavish such lucrative salaries upon their players. Using simple macro and micro economics, the five fans that are off black tar heroin long enough to cheer for the Sux, obviously can't support them. The Bitch Sox share WGN with the Cubs, so obviously, any smart TV exec would know that the ratings aren't going to be there for the Sux. So then... how..? if you're sniffing out foul play (and by play I mean a reworking and/or real life situation of Christopher Marlow's hit "The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus") you might be onto something.

Bonesaw - Thanks for writing in. I had Ellen do some research for me on the actual history of Cinco de Mayo, and this is what she found: That they should all be shot.

I'm seriously starting to think that Ellen might be a little bit of a racist. I can't prove this, but I have her doing some research on it.

3 comments:

MF said...

I didn't want to bring this up in public but it should be noted that Ellen tried to bar me from BMC HQ yesterday. She said I either need to stop looking so much like a dirty Swede OR start looking more like Steve McQueen. She left me no choice so I gave Dancer her number and said she's interested. I don't know where "giving a girl 3 std's via a tainted friend" lies on the vengeance scale but I think it's appropriate. And uh, I'm working on the McQueen thing.

Make Out City Studios said...

Dear BMC, I noticed that your last post was at 10:16 am. What about "The Crackdown". And I'm also very lazy, how about an update on the Twins.

Thanks

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to that little bitch Remo, did he finally realized that he sucked at movies and ran away. It's best he made like Ike Clanton in Tombstone cos I would've made him Apollo in Rocky IV