The Many Sides of Harm

I'm always amused by these personality tests that try to break people down into little sections of uniqueness. You've heard of them I'm sure. They're all basically variations on Type A and Type B breakdowns but they add a little fluff to the numbers to justify their own existence. Corporations use these things for work so they can clarify that hey, Justin from Accounting IS a jerk, but that's just because he's a Dominant/Influential personality and he's task oriented not people oriented. There's even the Beatles test where you can sort out which Beatle you're most like. You can check it out here. Most of them are a variation of the Meyers-Briggs test, which I would explain but I don't happen to agree with so why bother? I know that they're trying to boil it down to who you are in MOST situations, but I don't agree with that assumption. My reaction to a situation is based on my mood, the other persons involved, etc. So basically I think it's a bunch of bullschnickety.

I like pretty much everything most days. And some days I hate pretty much everything. I can be incredibly nerdilicious and analytical. This probably explains why I love baseball and also why, if given time and proper motivation, I can support my belief that Joe Mauer was arguably the 3rd best catcher in the AL last year.

There's also the overly arty side of me that believes in creating a project and following through and basically showing everyone that really I want to be a woman because all I want to do is bring something new and beautiful into this world. And yeah, that last sentence was awkward to write. I'm not proud of it. I don't like where my head was at during that sentence at all. But let's face it, guys don't really get a chance to nurture things into this world like the ladyfolk do. Not that I'd trade with them. My belly need not grow larger. This is getting worse. Moving on...

I'm just trying to illustrate that, depending on the day, I can be seen as completely different than the last day. I think most people are that way so it seems like a scam to me when one of these tests says something like "this person is cautious". Because everyone can, at some point in time, say "hey, that's totally me! I'm cautious!" And then those same people read something from a different personality group and think to themselves "hey, I'm totally impulsive. That's me in a nutshell!" But no one ever bothers to ask if maybe this thing is bullshit. It drives me nuts. Maybe that's my dominant personality coming through though.

So anyway, I think I'm all over the map of personality. If I was a Transformer (and if there's any justice I will be in Heaven) then I would be a Quintesson. They were the creators of the Transformers and they had 4 faces that would rotate. Here's a picture of one of them. I think his name was Bob. And here's a pic of Optimus Prime holding a press conference. No reason really, I just like Optimus. Back to the Quintessons though - they were kind of goofy in that all of their faces really looked like slight variations of the same thing. Maybe to a Quintesson there were subtle differences that denoted personality. This is another reason why I need to be a Quintesson in heaven, then I'll know if the four faces are unique personality-revealing devices or just 4 different sides of bullshit on a stick. They never adequately explained what the other 3 faces were doing when not facing the camera but hey, I'll figure that out when I get to be one...y'know, in heaven. So that'll be pretty sweet.


If I were a character on He-Man I would be Man-E-Faces. If for nothing else then I would get to double hyphenate my first name! That's just tremendous. I think it's funny that the names on this show were so basic. I'm surprised they didn't have a guy named Dude-Who-Shits-His-Pants but apparently the toy line fizzled out before they had a chance. For excellent analysis of this and other He-Man insights I would recommend this site. Plus there's a great photo series of Man-E-Faces showcasing his various forms. I think today I will go with Robot Face to start and maybe turn into Monster Face around 3. If I were a character on Thundercats I would...actually I'd just hit myself in the face with a shovel...Thundercats kinda sucked.

I bring this personality issue up because I was torn about what to write today. On the one hand I have the starting lineups for the World Baseball Classic as presented by Baseball America to review. On the other hand my good friend Johnny H has some sweet stop motion on his site that I think you should check out. See? Nerdy stat guy vs. nerdy art guy. This happens every day in some form. And what happens? I address neither side and just talk about the various sides. I'm turning into a grade A douchebag here. Next thing you know I'll be shuffling around the breakroom microwaving my own shit (and I mean that literally, not like "hey, lemme put my shit down and I'll give you a hug". I mean feces.) for lunch and telling people about why I'm not a "people pleaser".