The Schedule

Acquire foods for Thanksgiving dinner.

Try to talk wife out of buying "chargers" for the dinner plates. Do this because until recently did not know what a "charager" was and now that I know I do not want to spend $75 on them.

Help wife set out the china so she can plan how Thanksgiving will go over at the Harmon Household.

Much consternation over the lack of a gravy boat. Must find new and creative way to store gravy in an attractive manner.

Acquire silver polish. Do think of the work created by having tarnished silver and silver polish in the same place at the same time.

Re-stock liquor cabinet with good rum (Flor de Cana) and better scotch (Glenmorangie 12 year). Buy some egg nog just so I have an excuse to try the rum.

Laugh vigorously every time I ask the wife for a little Nog.

Do impression of a Chuck E. Cheese bandmember so that the wife can laugh. Strongly consider which song will be the best if forced, in a drunken state, to do the Chuck E. Cheese bandmember impression in front of people other than my wife.

Burn some cd's for my wife, my co-workers and myself so that I don't have to listen to these people say they're bored with music.

Listen to "boys and girls in america" by the Hold Steady again. Man it's fucking good. Listen to "separation sunday" by the Hold Steady because, much like watching Batman Begins and wanting to know how such a force could be created, I have to look back at their previous albums to see them discover their powers.

Make sure the house is spotless so that when I spend way too much time at a friend's house playing video games the wife will not have to be sitting at home alone AND cleaning up after Harmy. Which leads to phone calls and much disruption.

Must purchase some bad port wine and drink it with my father on Thanksgiving, because that's what life's about.