my boss thinks it's 1987

seriously. he does. i came to this realization a while back but like most things it took me a while to sort out. i am now 100% confident that he does, indeed, think it is 1987. the reasons for this are many and i shall illustrate them below.

The Breakdown

My boss is somewhere in his 40s I believe - so his "wild and crazy" days were the 80s. Unfortunate.
My boss was an only child - thus making him susceptible to missing common things (like the passage of time) due to suitable conversations about other people's lives.
My boss has no children - thus making him even more susceptible to missing out on normal cultural phenomena like teletubbies, geek rock and multiple piercings.

The Evidence

On several occasions he has referred to getting crazy whilst drinking "electric lemonades". I'm not even confident that's a real drink, but if it is then it certainly was spawned and had it's run in the 80s. It's hard to find a drink less manly than a daiquiri but i would assume this would do the trick.

I jokingly mentioned Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers and he knew immediately what I was talking about. When mentioning Absolut I was met with stony silence.

His shirts all look like they came from the wardrobe department of the Cosby Show.

His pants have more pleats than a sailor has diseases.

He constantly mentions people who he believes are "low class". Basically all of his put downs would fit in perfectly on any Revenge of the Nerds movie.

He still titters like a 5th grader at the thought of someone being gay.

He talks disparagingly about bad neighborhoods and "those people" and implies with no subtlety that he is discussing places and people of the non-white persuasion. He's basically Judge Smails from Caddyshack.

He has no idea what a young lady's "junk" is and why she might shake said "junk" in some guy's face while at a dance club.

He is offended and confused when people make fun of his overuse of the sweatervest.

He does that thing where you place your hand on your hip but not with the palm facing down. He does it with the palm facing upward, like he has back pain and is rubbing it down (though he has no back pain). I think this hand position was used for every snooty country clubber ever filmed in the 80s as a sign that they were out of touch and possibly enjoyed honking the horn. On a side note - standing with your hand like that is more gay than stating loudly "I enjoy penis in and around me at all times. I love the peen."

The Results

Have I swayed you? Add it all up and it seems like he has missed out on the past 19 years or so. No appreciation for modern music, modern movies, modern clothes. He even drives a fucking lotus. A lotus. A lotus is to the country club set as the trans am is to the mobile home set.