Thursday, July 13, 2006

I'm saving Lives

So I was in my group Last week.
( And for those of you who did not know I am in Anger Rehab )

Were all going around the circle of patience giving introductions
( "hi I'm ken and I get mad" , "Hi My name is Brenda and I set my Husbands Scrotum on Fire ")

That got your attention didn't it.

We had several new people in the class and one of them lets call him Brad .

Starts off hi My name is Brad ..

First off Brad is WAYYYYY TO fucking happy to be here .

And secondly he proudly Mentions that he's from Utah ..

Utah are you fucking kidding me .

Is it cool to even say that your from Utah I mean to admit that in Public ?

Anyway so Brad keeps going with his really chipper ass about how he's really relived to be here and I lost it .

I ask him "Hey Guy fucking Smiley why exactly are you fucking here "

Turns out that Brad was sent here because in his Mormon Parish little Brad drinks way to much Coffee and then he becomes violent .

A violent Mormon is there such a thing ?

So I asked him what did you do Wild Bill .

He goes into this whole ordeal about how he goes on line and orders tons of Folgers Crystals snorts it, and drives thru the town swearing at the locals Yelling out
" I wont have 2 wives !! ya hear me Jebadiah I wont have two wives !!

After hearing his story the group therapist kicked him out of the class and prescribed him some Prozac.

I gave him 100 bucks told him to get a lady of the evening and forget about Utah.

Oddly enough Brad came back to pay me of all people a visit, yesterday he gave me $200 bucks and told me thank you for the idea of the lady of the evening , he told me he had an epiphany in mid thrust that the real reason he wanted to leave his town is that he wanted to be an adult star .

I can respectfully say our man Brad landed a job in the Valley doing Porn what kind it don't matter I saved a young man from destroying Utah because he wanted to be a Horn dog .

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well done sir!! I don't know if you should be commended more for saving Utah or for getting a new guy into porn.

But...has he kicked the coffee habit? That's a hard one, I want to destroy Utah, and I'm only trying to cut back to 1 trip to the coffee shop a day.

mule said...

Was this loosely based on the hit movie "orgasmo"?

balddee2 said...

I have no time to be a plagiarist .
I'm trying to get out of this center

Anonymous said...

Is that a good movie? I haven't seen it. It's the South Park boys right?