chapter 20 (forgot this one)

And that’s how they found us. The door to the conference room began to jiggle and then the door opened and in walked Balddee. As is his nature, he had no idea who we were until we explained that we were waiting to interview with Mule for a possible unpaid internship.

“You guys need jobs?” Balddee asked, waving around the revolver that had been discarded in Marlon Maxey’s room.

Almost everybody agreed. There was some tri-sexual named Vicki or vicci that declined the offer, too freaked out to do anything accept cry. But Fents, MF, Evilsmurf (who nobody really liked) and I, all walked out into the chaos that had been an office not twelve hours ago.

“Do you guys have any food?” Evilsmurf questioned. “We’ve been trapped inside of that room all day.”

“You gotta square?” Balddee asked back, eyeing Evilsmurf with an air of questions.

“Yeah, Spirits alright?”

“They’ll do. Look in the break room. Watch out for the blood on the floor.”

“What the hell happened here?” MF whispered looking around.

“Who are these people?” Satchel or Bel asked, walking up towards our little group.

“New staff.” Balddee grunted.

“Fuck, that was quick.” Said Bel or Satchel, taking us in before looking back at Balddee, “Shouldn’t we at least, you know, wait until the last staff is in the ground or something?”

“No time. They need to train.”

And so that’s what we’ve been doing for the past couple of months. Pedro, the cat, took us to a place in the Himalayas where we were trained in writing by a monk named Bathsauras. He seems to be a fair man but doesn’t speak a lick of English (or Japanese) so much of his teachings were lost in translations.

During our training time the owner of the building that houses Bad Mother Coitus informed us it was a bad idea to open that door and questioned us whether or not we had seen his sign? We tried to play coy, but I still think he saw through our lies.

Ellen was finally cut down after a couple of months when we were sure that she was, indeed, not a zombie. However, this put us in a bit of a bind as she was threatening legal action against the offices of the BMC. With Marlon dead and no immediate legal representation to fall back on we gave her the office where she is now the manager-in-chief of the mag and instilling a Nazi like regime. Still no word on whether or not it will take.

Satchel and Bel are still stoned but Balddee is due back from wandering the earth any day now don’t know what he found while he was out there, but I don’t know if he was looking for anything.

The offices have been re-vamped and while still not up to code or modern by any stretch of the imagination, to steal a line from Pedro, at least the toilette flushes.

Mahalo–

h.