Thursday, March 09, 2006

Johnny Book Report - Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal



Johnny BR back with yet another fabulous book report for you kids. The first one went over so well that I thought I'd do it again. Because, if we've learned nothing else here, at least we know that I hate you all.

That last sentence would have been more powerful if there were more than 6 people reading this but whatever. I can't be troubled with my smalltiminess.

For some reason I've been reading a lot of books with long subtitles. Hence the title of the post is long. I'd apologize for that but that wouldn't really be keeping in the same spirit as the "I hate you all" rhetoric mentioned above.

The Breakdown

The story revolves around the friendship of Levi who is called Biff and his good pal Joshua (aka Yeshua, aka Jesus Christ, Lord and savior). The book is based in the time from when Josh is born until his crucifixion (not "crucifiction" which seems vaguely sacriligious but is in fact just poor spelling) but focuses mostly on his years from 12-30. The gospels don't really deal with the time period so the author is at liberty to play around a bit.

The Fun Stuff

The book works exceptionally well because Josh is learning how to be a perfect person while Biff is furiously working on not being remotely perfect. As Joshua prays and tries to learn about the human condition Biff is nailing harlots and explaining the feelings to his friend. Josh already knows that he can't "know" a woman so he lives out the baser desires through Biff, who is of course quite pleased to be in this situation. While Josh learns to be the messiah and hones his spiritual self Biff is busy sleeping with concubines and learning the Kama Sutra. When Josh reaches Nirvana and disappears from this plane of existence Biff is busy using his increased abilities to play pranks on Buddhist monks.

Along the way they encounter a demon or two, a yeti, the great wall of china (when asked what he thinks Josh replies "great") and other sights too numerable to mention. The book is about the friendship of these two, one of whom happens to be pretty important and the other who is fairly comfortable being a sly asshole.

Biff is also a Forrest Gump of sorts. He comes up with the ideas for evolution, for a round earth rather than flat, Judo (or Jew-Do as he was a Jew) and sarcasm. He claims he invented it. I don't know about that but he certainly perfected it.

Great Lines in History

Peter (after Jesus has driven the money changers from the temple): "Oh, he's fucked".

Disciple (after Jesus reveals to them that he knows of his coming death): "Well that sucks".


The Surprisingly Poignant Stuff

Christopher Moore also does a fantastic job of toeing the sacriligious line without crossing it. Josh is a person and he jokes and farts and throws sarcasm around to great effect. He's a person. With faults and whatnot. It's his humanity that makes him important. And even though I knew the book ended with his dying (for a rather important reason) I didn't want him to go. So, in a small way, this book actually made me think of Jesus as Joshua (a person and not...y'know, the Lord) and that made me dig him a little bit more. I wasn't expecting any kind of religious experience with this book but I got a little epiphany there. I epiffed.

I highly recommend this book. Go and buy it right the fuck now. There's more to say but these reports aren't going to run themselves.

Rating: 100% Awesome

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

my favorite is the invention of the cappuchino.

johnny, you did alright boy... tht's a fine book report.

~dr gonzo

Anonymous said...

I agree with the 100% Awesome rating.

I am requiring my friends to read this book. It could be a friendship deal breaker if they don't.

One of my favorite, of many, parts of this book was learning how bunnies became associated with Easter.

MF said...

There were so many cool little things that he threw in there that I didn't want to metion them because then I'd just groan when I didn't include something. And I hate groaning.

Anonymous said...

does your wife know this?

Anonymous said...

No, but his boyfriend sure does