We Have Been Gone... and we feel terrible about it

Aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back. Apologies as always to everybody concerned for the delay in the daily articles. We are, of course, embarrassed by all of the happenings, though we do feel much better since the completion of our Customer Service week. The only person that was really hampered by it was Harmon, poor bastard.

One of the speakers, in an attempt to show us what unity is or was or whatever I wasn’t really paying attention, had us doing this thing called a “Trust Fall”. Now in this “Trust Fall” people are supposed to stand in a semi-circle and an individual (Harmon) stands on top of a desk, or elevated level surface, and then the dumbass (Harmon) is supposed to fall backwards and apparently we are all supposed to catch him.

So Harmon fell and there wasn’t any padding or anything so… yes, I’m sure it probably hurt. The art chic concrete floor that we have here at the BMC is not all that forgiving, but Harmon is in a good place now.

No, sorry, not dead. Not yet at least.

He should be coming out of this coma any day now. The only difficult piece is that he only has our corporate health care plan with the savings account thingy that nobody can really understand. So we had to put him in more of a morally ambiguous hospital that may or may not be the basement of the local Day’s Inn. Not that he probably really needs a hospital. I mean for heaven’s sakes he’s just sleeping. I’ve had plenty of hangovers that are far worse than what he is going through.

So the BMC staff was ready to have a little bit of time away from one another and what’s the best way to do this when you work for the cat dropping salary that we are paid? Why you create a Second Life avatar of course (in hind sight, yes we should've joined World of Warcraft).

The process of creating a character then refining the character and then acclimating yourself to the world is quite time consuming. Furthermore is the damning evidence that once you’re in the world of Second Life you need to talk to people, which is the entire reason that I created myself to avoid.

There is, unfortunately, no smiting button within the game. In fact it all works in a queer science fiction like realty where there is no pollution and everybody lives harmoniously. Baldee was the first casualty though he has not been aware of the fact that you could not kill yourself. Gonzo tried to cruise for guys but then realized that you had to spend real money in order to buy them the virtual things they want in the game. Me, I got kicked out. Apparently the makers of the game tend to frown upon those of us who have a language repertoire that involves “shit” or “cum dumpster”.

Seriously, why can't I be the one in the coma?