chapter six

“They’re alive!?!” Satchel or Bel shrieked as the living corpses of Dead Simon #1 and Dead Simon #2 advanced on the group.

Harmon tried to quell the situation, “Simon? Hey what’s up? You okay? We thought you were dead.”

Dead Simon #1 grabbed Chuck Funk and sank its’ teeth into Chuck’s shoulder, ripping out a chunk of flesh. Blood sprayed onto Marjorie forcing her backwards as Chuck howled in pain.

Balddee shoved the advancing Simon #2 away from Harmon. There was a banshee's scream as Dead Simon #2 was impaled on a phallic symbol that Ellen had left on a cub reporter’s desk.

Satchel and Bel wailed as Johnny Bookreport leapt into the fray, trying to separate Chuck from Dead Simon #1. Harmon grabbed the autographed Kent Hrbek baseball bat that hung above the revolving door to the office hitting any piece of Dead Simon #1 that was available. Mule took up the hat rack, forcing it between Chuck and the living corpse and tried to pries them apart.

Dead Simon #1 relinquished its’ grip as Harmon made contact; its’ face smashing and splattering onto the floor. Chuck rolled over, sat up, spit up blood then collapsed to the ground. Harmon’s Hrbek special landed a rib crushing blow to the chest of Dead Simon #1.

And then all was quiet.

“What the shit just happened?” Satchel or Bel freaked out.

“I don’t know.” Johnny Bookreport said, blood covering his face from where he had run his hand. “Is Chuck dead?”

Balddee looked down at him. “He ain’t alive.”

“I can’t fucking take this anymore.” Marjorie freaked out wringing the blood from her hair. “I didn’t even want this job. I should be working at Wal-Mart. No matter how retarded their benefits are at least this sort of shit never happens there.”

Mule threw up and Marlon Maxey offered him a tissue to wipe his mouth.

Balddee lit another cigarette, “What do we do now?”

There was a sickening thud as a fist came through the face of Johnny Bookreport. Dead Simon #2 tried to extract its' hand out of the back of Johnny’s skull as his body slumped forward in dead weight.

Then a new sound was heard as the paper cutter's blade sliced through the skull of Dead Simon #2. The man that had been Simon #2 stood, then fell forward, leaving a shaking Dr. Gonzo standing behind it.