chapter two

Monday came to the offices of Bad Mother Coitus with a sky like a hangover. Weather reports dominated the news with floods and storms covering the entire state. Harmon, who worked the farthest away, was hampered the most and last to arrive. So as not to improve Harmon’s Monday experience, Todd Dancer regaled the office with lyrics and pronouncements about his bitches.

Behind the office’s revolving door chaos reigned supreme. Harmon’s office was last one on the left down the long isle, a section of the office Balddee already prowled with a cane and promises of domination. Dr. Gonzo chatted on her computer to somebody on one of the coasts while in the next office over Pedro, the cat, rubbed himself on any available object knowing full well it would cause most of the allergic population to grow sick.

Potential new interns huddled behind the closed door of the conference room filling out forms. Harmon considered yelling at Mule, who was supposed to be interviewing them but who instead was staring at the coffee pot, willing it to make coffee, before giving up.

“Have you heard this yet?” Satchel or Bel asked Harmon as he tried to make his way past. He could never remember which was which. “It’s an early scratch recording of Ambulance LTD’s s/a album. It’s really fucking good. I could make you a copy of it if you’d like.” Not in the mood for conversation, Harmon waved a non-committal hand in their face and continued forward, ever forward.

Ellen was putting herself into a bondage harness when Marjorie cornered him. “Harm, due to the bad weather do you think that we could all go home early? I don’t want to get stuck out in this and my girlfriend and I are going on this big date tonight and I really don’t want to miss it.”

Harmon mumbled something non-descript while Marlon Maxey, the office attorney, phone tucked against shoulder beckoned him so they could talk about the latest lawsuit. Ignoring this, Harmon found similar un-enjoyment with the loud interview Dirty Orpheus was having with people in Crapcago.

At his office, at last he turned the knob. He opened the door where he found the dead bodies of Simon and Simon, the former Team Building leaders, hanging on the wall.

“That’s a shame.”