Conversations ~ two of nine

i know i am loved.

of course.

it hurts.

why?

i have nothing greater to earn. i've achieved everything without doing anything.

love is not achievement.

agreed.

you've achieved nothing.

i understand.

no, you don't.

i care what people think.

i know.

i hate that about myself.

i know.

i'm helpless to stop it.

i know you think that is true.

why?

helplessness absolves you of guilt.

i should be more than what i am.

you are.

and yet nothing changes.

you're searching for the honest conversation. the connection with others.

yes.

maybe you should be searching for something else.

like what? my grandmother's watch? my favorite t-shirt?

the end of conversation.

go on.

where you don't have to talk. where it's all in the eyes. where your every movement means something to someone and you can understand and feel and honor and love and despair and destroy and open yourself to a life without words.

that could take years.

years you have.

i don't understand.

you will.

when?

the moment you look yourself in the eye.