King Blasphasar Makes a Mighty Purchase!

Glorious King Blasphasar the Bitter of the now disputed Plutonic ring of Hell, planted his banner in the lower leftern lobe and declared for all those around: “This land is our land.”

To the lesser archfiends that surrounded him he bade, “Soon we’ll be mired in the thick of it. But through all we will hold this line.” He paused to let the drama sink for King Blasphasar the Bitter was nothing short of a drama junkie; his spaded tail leapt in the air then snapped down upon an imaginary line on the gyrus. Imaginary accept to those that truly believed.

The faithful following hellspawn shed the only petroleum tears they would know that day. Come the nagging burning sensation of Holy Water, the continual pamphlets that the Jews for Jesus would give them (which they had promised not to recycle) or even the promised plagues, which to them was more of an irony as they were windigo and already suffered through most of the nuisances (the French demons were looking especially forward to the rain of frogs), they would hold that line!

But nobody ever came.

“Samael, come hither” Brave Blasphasar bade his most faithful slave. “As our mortgage company did not afford us the capital to have a complete home owner’s inspection and only allowed the obligatory appraisal so that we could meet their closing costs, we need a rundown of this brain. Pray go forth and secure whatever knowledge is available to us. Pry into the deepest places and bring to the surface what may come so we might be assured that our land is sound!”

So spake the great King who’s will was soon done- well, after Sameal’s work could be confirmed by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, so six to eight weeks. Sameal report confirmed that this new land good land, fertile land.

“Surely this is the prophesized land that was spoke of in days of old!” Their wizened leader spoke, holding the findings above his hand!

So they built a good lodging there, taking care not to over develop their property with the surrounding neighborhood, but cognizant of the creature comforts that existed in life. They limited themselves to only the bare minimum of skulls on the exterior of the house so as to maximize the number of gargoyles and also the skulls that they could be used on the interior. They knew that it would cost them a little bit more money up front but when it came winter time they would more than make up the costs.

And glorious King Blasphasar now sits with a jewel on his troubled brow, surveying the impending darkness and the depression that he was able to bring upon this body. A ray of happiness comes with this and also that he was able to get a really good fixed rate on his mortgage.