I don't work on labor Day

i guess i'm supposed to fill in on monday's not that ol' charmin harmin was fired but fuck that man, i don't work on labor day. i get fucked up. that's the deal. and ai did to. hammered. i had more Amtel Lights yesterday than all of Amsterdam. ha hahaha.

so i had this sweet ass dream last night and i think it's why i woke up in such an awesome mood. you know how that happens sometimes when you dream of something cool and it makes you feel cool? or you dream of fighting a dragon or something and you wake up all hot like it's flames got to you/ stuff like that. you know.

so this dream. in it i was me and i was staying at this hotel with my girlfriend hilary duff. i usually prefer the sluttier chicks (i want action man) but hilary's cool y'know. anyway i was at this hotel with hilary and her little sister hailey and their parents, but their parents were cool. the best part was that her dad wouldn't let me and hil in the same room alone so he made hayley stay with us too. thanks for the hookup on the threesome dad! fuck on!

so we were all hanging out and they were wearing this little boy shorts deals that chicks wear and haily was flirty and stuff and hil totally didn't mind. but then it got weired. we started hanging out with Scott Turow and i think he's a writer of like mystery books and shit. and we had to solve this murder at a department store. cept it really wasn't a murder, just a dead body in the men's department. so me and the duffs and turow were trying to piece it all together and it was fuckin anoying because turow seemed like he knew what was going on but wouldn't tell us, like he was testing us or something. that pissed me off because i wanted to solve the stupid thing because i wanted to get some wine and see what the girls would do in the hotel y'know? i got priorities fucker.

so at the dept store the mannequins were all laying on the floor so it was hard to find the body and shit. we looked around and finally found it. then the cops got there and arrested the fucking writer dude turow and said he did it and was gonna kill us. he had already tried to kill lindsy lohan and was now trying to get my duffs. fucker! so then we went to see a movie and i woke up.