thorntown kids

there were these two kids from back in high school--forever ago. one, ziggy, was the classic underachiever with a lot of potential being held back by the people he hung-out with. the other, jones, was a "jerk"--not quite a "jock" not quite a "nerd" but somewhere in the gray areas of both.

one of them had the locker down by the gymnasium, the old gymnasium, that is, not the new one, and that's where they would congregate after second period. there they would discuss the myriad of subjects that scratched the superficial surface of their everyday lives (topics covered: the legendary adventures of hercules, star trek: the next generation and an ongoing drama of how to talk their chemistry teacher, mr. zuphyr, into letting them stay after class to ditch their next period).

they made an odd pairing despite this common ground they had constructed their friendship upon. it was after their junior year they found a new dynamic, where jones met people, leaving it up to ziggy to maintain these friendships. this was highlighted on an idle sunday afternoon when a friend of jones called him for ziggy's phone number. jones relayed the phone number, then called ziggy to find out what he was up to, only to find out that ziggy was going over to the other kid's house.

perhaps the strangest story follows the pair on new years eve where they had been slated to attend party ushering in 1996. they met a group of people at their friend kirsten's house, where it was immediately decided the ensemble should go downtown and try to get into first avenue. on paper this looked to be a good idea until a series of mishaps occurred, or at least for ziggy and jones. first was the transportation where the size of the group dictated three cars would be a legal necessity. secondly, was the amount of snow both falling and accumulating. last was jones' knowledge, or lack thereof, of the geographical locations within, and whereabouts of, the city of minneapolis.

as was documented by charles darwin in 1859's origin of species there is a hierarchy within all species. this would be expanded upon after darwin had ceased the mortal coil but could be constructed into a matrix that describes high school. and so while the majority of the group piled into two cars it was jones' car left most bare, containing only jones, jones' sophomore valet: bachmann, and ziggy, who joined them in an odd sense of loyalty despite the fact he had a girlfriend in one of the other cars that he had every intention, nay right, to make-out with at midnight.

the caravan started off well until the first two cars made a stoplight going across the grain belt bridge, leaving jones' car separated. despite the fact the location of first avenue, based exclusively on the name of the establishment, should have been an easy enough locale to find, jones quickly became lost and headed the wrong way on 35W into an area he would later discover to be the small suburb of richfield.

these were the savage days before cellular technology had become an economically feasible means to the masses. thus the three of them devolved into a game ziggy and jones had discovered the year prior, when neither of them had gone to prom. in it, they would take the same turns indicated by the car behind them until the driver of the vehicle became wise to their ruse and would lose them with a fake directional signal at the first available stop sign. these were the limitations of entertainment they had at their disposal.

in a ditch effort, they returned to thorntown, stumbling through the different abodes of their acquaintance in an attempt to locate their separated friends. they even went so far as to stop at the home of the girl jones was sweet on, which her mother had recently vacated the family from after she was re-married. at this, the lowest point of the trip, they managed to beach jones' car in the snow strewn driveway and had to push it out--ziggy took the liberty of writing 'shovel me' in the fresh powder.

with midnight approaching, they gave up hope, or at least ziggy gave up the hope of making out at midnight; for the other two their wasn't much hope to begin with. the three repaired back to jones' house to suffer the new year in, in a similar fashion replayed on many of the nights before.

and that is when the final breath of kindness from 1995 occurred. in one of jones' more understated comments he had confided in ziggy how he supposed most folk really only entertained him as a friend due to the liberal nature his parents subscribed to. this truth was complimented by the fact that every child in thorntown knew the location of the key to jones' house. thus, it should not have surprised them as much when they discovered the lost attachment of their group mingling in the basement.

in the end, ziggy got to make-out with his girlfriend at midnight, and they were able to usher in the new year surrounded by friends.

there is an interesting coda to the story. apparently the girls had secured several bottles of champagne upon the knowledge the girl jones was sweet on would have an empty house. they most likely would have gotten away with it, too, should there not have been tire marks gouged in her driveway, and so all the girls were suspended from the cross-country ski team. this did not earn jones any points.

where ziggy and jones are now is anybody's guess. ziggy, it was said, made something of himself and may be a mad scientist who plots at unleashing a biological creature of his own design upon the known world from his secret lair. jones fell further off the radar, and was last seen wandering the midwest; this is only speculation, however, based on the rise of disturbed and angry people residing there who most likely are living in his wake.