chapter fourteen

“Who needs a drink?” Mule asked looking at the bloody corpse of Harmon that Balddee had just savaged. When nobody answered and more to justify needing the drink Mule continued, “Well there is more alcohol in this break room place.”

“Don’t go on your own.” Dirty Orpheus remarked standing in the doorway.

“I won’t,” Mule said, “Harmon should be in his office, put the rest of them in there too. I’ll take Pedro. He can’t help anyway.”

Pedro, the cat, went along with Mule and they walked down the corridor towards the break room. No words needed to be exchanged between either of them but for good measure Pedro ran his claws along the wall so that they would know their way back.

They entered the break room and saw the corpse of Dr. Gonzo. Mule looked on, “I completely forgot about her.”

Pedro took a more cautious approach, knocking a jar off the counter down onto its' head.

“Well, if she is going to turn it doesn’t look like she’s there yet. I guess we’ll have to,” Mule paused, looking around the room before continuing. “I guess we’ll have to dispose of her."

Pedro, ever the helpful cat, rubbed himself against the industrial sized Shredder Commando that Dirty Orpheus, in a freak moment of drug induced paranoia, had purchased from Worst Lie. “You’re a sick fucker, Pedro, but God bless you.”

Mule removed a cleaver, the only real knife that was in the office and lopped off Dead Gonzo’s leg. He pressed the power button, there was a slight whir before nothing. Frustrated he pressed the power button again: nothing. “Fuck. The building doesn’t have electricity.”

He sighed and slumped down taking a greedy final glance over Dead Gonzo's body.

Pedro examined the Shredder Commando then flicked a switch that caused the shredder to come to life and Mule to comment, “Who the shit builds an emergency power source into a paper shredder?”

Re-energized, Mule picked up the leg again and began shoving the foot, then calf and thigh into the Shredder Commando. A fine pink cloud came off as the shredder did its’ work. Mule lopped off the other leg, then the right arm. He began whistling, taking pride in his work. Pedro looked on in his typical disinterested fashion.

Then something unexpected happened and out of it came pain. Mule looked down to see Dead Gonzo’s remaining hand clutching onto a take-out chopstick that had been shoved through his foot, nailing him to the floor.

He attacked with his other foot crushing it into Dead Gonzo's nose and sending the remaining torso, arm and head flying across the break room.

Dead Gonzo responded by throwing a ceremonial serving platter that connected with Mule’s head, sending him back onto the Shredder Commando.

Woozy, blood dripping down over his eyes he felt the back of his shirt suck into the teeth of the shredder, making it so that he couldn’t move.

Dead Gonzo began the slow and tedious process of crawling across the floor. Pedro attacked but Dead Gonzo was expecting it and hit him mid-flight, sending him sprawling through the air.

It arrived at Mule as his lower back was grabbed by the teeth of the shredder. Reaching up Dead Gonzo grabbed Mule by the groin, twisted, pulled and castrated.