Office personalities are unique and different no work environment is the same Duh. The people I work with are the type you want to invite to the party they are all top notch don't get me wrong you have your various camps.
Conservatives: These are the one who live in the Burbs and ooze Red White and Blue wont admit when there wrong and like to look down on those of us who choose to live in the City these people vary in Race, age and Gender.
Uptown Village crew: these are the People who know every hip to be Square place they know every trendy joint but it only falls under the category of what they think is cool. Pranksters and smart Alecs this bunch.
Cows: I call them cows because they know how to graze the pasture aka wasting time they're the ones who clock in at 9am but make the rounds talking to everyone about useless crap they pass the Buck when it comes to doing their own assignments ECT.
The Hunters: These are the ones who like to stand too close they're the ones who are really touchy they like invading your personal space talking about improper subjects who they're having sex with or that they did have sex with there spouse or boyfriend girlfriend ect it's all a ploy what there really doing is bringing up these topics to see how far you will go into there world there just looking for the opportunity to try and get in your pants at the next Office X-Mas party our Friend Mitzy as I later found out comes from this group.
As I mentioned before the File room is very narrow I see her coming in the room so not to be rude I basically press myself into the filing Cabinet and move my arse out of the way giving her plenty of space I have done this maneuver countless times to any and everyone not that I'm a prude but I find it best to let that person know that I respect your personal space, even if the space is too small for us to stand belly to belly. So there I am doing my pass in peace maneuver when suddenly and quite unexpexdely I feel to hands on my hips and a zipper graze my arse I was shocked I was in disbelief I was I was grinded on without warning I felt like throwing up an Elbow instead...
I turned around and smiled politely sorry not enough room. She smiled and whispered a very breathy excuse me. To be honest I didn't think anything of this incident cause accidents happen and who wants to think that the people you work with are flipping horn dogs...
So I went about my business and I made the realization, kind of like when you buy a certain brand of Car and then suddenly you see it everywhere? It became that way with Mitzy I could hear her cackling about how the night before her boyfriend would jump her bones cause she dropped some Cheez whiz on the floor. And I began to notice that we had more interaction then I cared for I would be typing and she would come up behind me and pretend to ask a question and put her tits on my Shoulder at first I didn't think anything of it cause accidents happen but by the 3rd time I felt like a pirate with her breasts perched on my shoulder a titty Parrot if you will. Arghh
I forgot to mention that Mitzy is fuggly and as we all know there's nothing worse then some Shrek looking mofo trying to get into your pants but that is no excuse unwanted groping is unwanted groping.
This really started to effect me in small doses, instead of looking forward to my day I would cringe at the dawn, instead of embracing the wonders of life I held myself in the fetal position scrubbing myself for hours in the shower feeling like I was never clean, I became jumpy the slightest movement, and I'm running out of my cubicle. like I said it only effected me in small doses.
So what do you do? I realized that Mitzy and other hunters are like Vampires we all know the rule: If the owner of the Home invites a Vampire into there home the Vampire can enter that property at there leisure doing all sorts of damage this rule applies to hunters, if you talk to them they feel like they can enter your Cubicle . So what do I do If your a guy no one will believe you thanks for your time please help I'm open to suggestions
Larry D
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3 comments:
I want to thank you Larry D
for trusting someone like me with this issue .
Before I give any type of Advice I would first like to hear from you the public .
I don't know, it's pretty hard to advise a man that has breasts perched on his shoulder.
The sheer logistics of that are enough to make me think for the rest of the day. Also I think that could be a new hard-hitting name.
Larry, you are glorious... we should have you come onto the staff. It beats hell out of everything else we do.
Titty Parrot !!
No I wont make folly his plight
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