What does he mean by "out"?

Got the following quote from a Strib article forwarded to me by Mule this morning.

The slow-motion replay showed Justin Morneau's cheeks puffing out, with his eyes big and wide, as the letter-high pitch from Kevin Millwood sailed into his happy zone.

If you're into homoeroticism AND you're a twins fan well boy are you going to enjoy this article. You can read the whole thing here.

The writer goes on to describe Morneau as "ready to pounce". Which is just awkward. Pounce? Seriously? When a 6 foot 4 man weighing around 225 pounds decides to swing a bat I don't think of something a kitty does. Call me crazy.

I bring this up because, let's face it, the sporting world is going gay. The twins didn't win a game versus the rangers last night. They pounded their asses. The rangers pitchers were humming it right down the pipe right where the twins like it. I don't know if I'll be able to swing at a belt high pitch again. I'll just be thinking about the pitcher trying to hit my happy zone and that'll be the end of me.

The sporting world has always been easy prey for sex analogies. It's just that in the past we always thought of them as man-woman bible thumper approved sex analogies instead of awkward and uncomfortable thoughts about large, sweaty men.

In basketball you've got to get it up to get it in. I mean hell, the lane and semi-circle does seem to invoke a certain male body part. What's that about exactly?






And yes while at trent tucker's basketball camp in the 80s (when Harmy was all of 12 or so) one of the coaches did make this joke to us. I felt like Arnold on that very special episode of Diff'rent Strokes. I didn't know what the hell was going on but I knew that the dude was weird and I didn't want to know more than that. In the movie about my life this would be a flashback and Mule would of course play the creepy coach.

In football you've got to fill that gap and stick it in the end zone. Pretty obvious stuff. But now that we live in a world where everyone talks about sex and throws out gay jokes pretty much constantly it gets downright goofy watching a grown man reach between another man's legs for the snap. I guess this is the whole post modern thing rearing it's ugly head.

I'd mention something about hockey here but I don't watch the sport so I can't really say. in the crease seems like a reach. I'd mention soccer but they're all gay anyway so what's the point? I kid, just the spanish dudes are gay. the others are just incredibly supportive.

So what does this all mean? I don't know. That's just life right? And, in an odd way, watching these sports and playing in them may be the first step towards tolerance for guys who would have gladly beat up a kid just because he was gay back in the 50s. Maybe not but I'm definitely going to try to sell the wife on it. I'm not just watching the Packers (yes, the gayest sounding name of all with the possible exception of the Bears)I'm acknowledging a whole new world filled with tolerance and love.

Yeah, that's it.